Skipping Mother's Day
This Sunday, women all over the United States will get cards and gifts, maybe even flowers. But not all. Some have no children to honor them. Some are daughters without living mothers. Some are homeless. Still, mothers have this bond, an understanding of something not easily put into words. I send those women, all women who read this post, flowers.
I wonder why some holidays are fraught with conflicting emotions. I am sure you can guess that my personal list includes Mother’s Day along with my birthday, which isn’t a holiday to anyone but was a major day for my mom, when she was alive. That made it a personal holiday for me.
I used to approach Thanksgiving and Christmas in heart tip toe, never sure if I’d hold on to the real meaning of those special days or surrender to an onslaught of loneliness and sorrow. I spent a lot of those holidays alone, the price paid for a divorce after children were grown and moved away, and my own hesitation at pushing in to any one’s traditions. Sometimes I joined others but somehow felt like the odd one out. Eventually, I matured past that. Bible reading, Bible study, prayer and entering my elder years helped. Strong friendships helped. And I mostly quit having expectations of others that they had no idea I held. I let those go, opened my hands and gave them to God. But I have always struggled with Mother’s Day. Will I get any cards? Will anyone call me? I am a mother, I whisper to myself, and a grandmother.
The death of my mom almost nine years ago made Mother’s Day a day where I miss her acutely. I remember buying her an aluminum shaker that held confectioners’ sugar as the first gift I purchased on my own as a child. Found it in the five and dime store. Sent her flowers many times, and always a card and a phone call. I thought I was going to be just fine this Mother’s Day but then anxiety hit. We ran out of time to buy and mail cards to daughters, sisters-in-law, loved ones. And then out of nowhere tears started. This, I thought, is getting ridiculous. No more, no more. I am going to put those two words on the May 2018 calendar. Meanwhile I wish any mothers, daughters, sisters, any woman who wants to be remembered, who needs to be remembered on Mother’s Day 2017, a Happy Mother’s Day. I send flowers via this blog post. My mom loved flowers and so do I.
Repeat that wish for a Happy Mother's Day to women you know and even those you don’t know. Be a blessing. I try.